stay galadriel

ok. it's official now: i am an idiot. absolutly.
and i hate my fucking hormons and my 'i like that boy'-thing...
damn...
today he was so nice and sweet and ... and then he says: well i don't know, maybe i'll go dancing with another girl... too...
i don't get it. what game is that guy playing? it's one i don't like. i don't want to be a figure on his playing board. never.
but today it's not been the time to talk about it.
today was like catching bees with a honeypot - or him with cake...
maybe the talking an dancing thing will do the trick...
but i don't think there's much hope...
i think he is like all the other guys before him, i liked...
the type you fall in love with, but never love you back...
and if you say it to them, you scare them off...
but the hope stays that you are the girl who tears his walls down...
fucking hope...
i think i'll do what i can best: stay here, stay galadriel and get on with life...

hard to say... thanks

sometimes i think to myself  'how hard can it be to say thanks?'
well, obviously it's quite hard...
instead  a 'thanks for your birthdaycard' i got a 'card's sweet, someday a year it's right too'
fucking bastard.

but thats a thing i wont say or write to him...
nope.
thats not the way i am...
the next time i'll meet him, i'll smile and keep quiet...

i think i have a way with strange people... no, people with problems...
they come near me like bees 'round a honeypot...
 and the thing is... this one i really like...
i really do, but if i say that loud he will be away, running again...
so - i keep on smiling and swallowing all my anger, my bad language, my...
and keep on hoping, that someday things change...